"The Good Wife" part 1

The following article was read to us in Sunday School this past Sunday.

• Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
• Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
• Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
• Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
• During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
• Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
• Be happy to see him.
• 
  
• Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
• Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
• Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
• Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
• Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
• Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
• Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
• A good wife always knows her place.

It was supposedly an article from a Good Housekeeping 1955 article, but that is questionable and most likely the article is a fake.

At the onset, the suggestions are outrageous and laughable. What woman in this day and age is going to "submit" to the ideas in this article? And besides, who wears ribbons now-days anyways?
But here's the kicker, take away the "reasons" given to do those things purported in this article, namely that -"the man is the husband and ruler and you must cater to his every whim because you are only the woman and wife" - and the suggestions really aren't that bad, and even have some truth behind them. I will talk about only two of them, citing personal experience, but I think some of the others could apply as well. Read on, and see what you think.
First, some background. I am a mother of five young boys, one of which is severely handicapped. My husband works 12+ hours a day, plus a 35min-2 hour commute every day. I am up before 6:30 and often don't go to bed until after 11:00, and anything more than a 2-hour stretch of sleep is a miracle. I know what crazy is, I know what tired it, I know from experience that life throws up on you, quite often more than once a day. I also must share that I have a husband who is understanding and helpful. He cleans bathrooms, cooks dinner (outshining me on some instances), will watch all of the children so I can have a needed break, etc. If I did nothing all day but hold a baby and read a book, he would say nothing to me, but come home after his busy day and start cleaning the house and feeding the children. I share all of this because I don't want anyone to mistake me for a "brow-beaten" wife, whose husband expects her to do the things listed above.
So, here's the deal. This past week, before this article was shared, I knew that my husband was having a stressful, busy week. I knew that his hours at home would be fewer, and that he was tired from late nights and early mornings. I wanted those hours he was home to be spent with us, not spent doing household chores. So, more than I have recently, I made an effort to do the chores I would normally save for Saturday, when the whole family was home, during the week. with the help of my boys we tried to have the main living space of our house tidied, and on a few occasions even vacuumed, right before he came home so it didn't have a chance to get messed up again. I tried really hard to at least have dinner started before he walked through the door, and sometimes I even timed it right, and it was ready for him (not an easy task when you're dealing with L.A. traffic).
I chose to do these things because I wanted to make his life easier. I wanted him to be able to come home and relax and enjoy time together with his family. I did them for him, not because I had to, and you know what? Surprise surprise, it helped all of us. Ask any mother and she will tell you the hardest part of the day is between supper and bedtime (or if we really want to be honest the time between when the children get home from school and bedtime). We are worn out, frazzled, and just ready to be done for the day, and there are still at least three more hours to get through. Getting my house straightened, and at least all but the dinner dishes done, and having dinner ready to go not only made things more relaxing for my husband, (and yes, he noticed and was appreciative), but it made things more relaxing for me! Our evenings were more peaceful, our Saturday was more enjoyable, and I felt good because I had a sense of accomplishment that I had actually done something more than wipe noses and fold laundry. The list above makes one want to deride and minimize the effect we as mothers and wives can have. It takes away the joy in being a homemaker. Is it really wrong to "Be happy to see him"? or "Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him"? Is there something wrong in wanting to please your husband? No, the article is only wrong because it changes one crucial fact, when we do these things it is because we choose to do them out of love for our families, not because it is our "duty".